Suffolk families split over how to divide gifted money

Why it matters: Parents and grandparents regularly help fund house deposits, weddings, and other milestones, but research suggests no consensus on what should happen to that money if relationships later break down.

The details: The survey, commissioned by local law firm Ellisons and involving over 300 adults across Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk, found that almost half (49%) of respondents believe financial help should be judged individually, taking personal circumstances into account.

• 19% said assets should be shared equally regardless of where the money came from
• 17% said any division should reflect each person's financial contribution
• 11% said decisions should be based primarily on need, such as housing or children
• 5% believed money should automatically return to whoever originally provided it

Support for a case-by-case approach was strongest among younger adults. 56% of those aged 18 to 34 and 55% of those aged 35 to 54 chose this option, compared with 41% of respondents aged 55 and over.

What they're saying: Lisa Dawson, Partner and Head of Family at Ellisons, said helping the next generation was "usually an act of kindness and optimism", adding: "Most people don't make those decisions expecting to revisit them years later. They're focused on buying a home, building a future and helping someone they care about. If circumstances change, every family's story is different."

She said parents and grandparents making significant financial contributions should think about how that support is documented, suggesting cohabitation agreements for couples who live together, or pre- or post-nuptial agreements for those planning to marry. "Having those conversations early can provide greater certainty for everyone involved if circumstances change in the future," she said.

Nicola Weldon, Partner and Head of Private Client at Ellisons, said one of the first conversations the firm has with families is about what the financial help was intended to achieve. "Was it a gift, a loan or an early inheritance?" she said. "It's something people don't always stop to define because everyone trusts one another at the time. Recording those intentions and making sure everyone shares the same understanding from the outset can help avoid uncertainty years later. Ultimately, it's about protecting family relationships just as much as family wealth."

The bottom line: With no single approach favoured, Ellisons says families giving or receiving financial support could benefit from clearer conversations and documentation from the outset, to help protect relationships as well as wealth.

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